The college experience comes with life-changing decisions, insane stress and terrible lifestyle choices. With all of these burdens, most students seek solace in the purest form of entertainment: comedy. Today, many find that comedic relief in stand up comedian, John Mulaney. With the voice and mannerisms of a 1950's variety show host, Mulaney specializes in a blend of self-deprecation and sarcasm that speaks to the twenty-something experience. Whether used as reaction images online or quoted in the halls, he has become a staple on college campuses. Here are some of the most quoted and relatable lines from John Mulaney's stand up specials, currently on Netflix.


"Woah, that tall child looks terrible!" I met up with a friend once late at night, wearing no makeup, jeans and an old hoodie. My friend looked me up and down and mentioned that I looked older than usual, more like an adult. "I think it's the dark circles," she added. Whether you wear a full business suit or pajamas at noon, it is easy to feel like a kid masquerading as a grown up. 

College is one giant ball of stress. Most students are learning to live on their own, struggling to figure out daily adulting. Plenty are broke and living off of takeout, instant noodles and cheap coffee. Many students have to work jobs with little to no pay just to keep up. Juggling all of this plus a full class schedule is enough to drive anyone insane. 

College can drive many to some slightly irresponsible coping mechanisms. Most of us have at least one friend who can have a little too much fun and cause the party to end early. Sometimes friends take turns. Don't be ashamed if it has happened to you. Chances are, it will happen at some point. Just remember to learn from past mistakes and the inevitable consequences the next morning. There are plenty of ways to de-stress and have some fun without ruining everyone's night.

This is for all of the students binging Netflix and eating flaming hot Cheetos at 1 AM while wearing the same sweatpants for several days. We live off of junk food (the freshman fifteen is very real). The laundry can wait another night, right? I've been there, and so have you. Eventually, we get our acts together to eat a vegetable or take a shower. Don't feel too ashamed though. There is a good reason why Dominos pizza delivers that late.

Who needs sleep when coffee exists? College is almost a competition of who takes the least care of themselves. As a result, most of us are exhausted, paranoid and probably shaking from some kind of withdrawals. To answer this long-running debate, yes your friends still like you, and yes you should definitely go to sleep. Give the baristas a break.

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes right? You might sleep through an alarm and have five minutes to throw on clothes and run to class. Maybe you spill coffee on yourself before a presentation. God forbid, you take a final exam and everything you studied the night before is nowhere to be found. College is four years of days like these. Rather than panic, all you can really do is just shrug it off. This stuff happens all the time; it might as well be today.

Everyone has that friend on a completely different career path: business vs. education,  engineering vs. journalism, pre-law vs. art and even more strange combinations. College is the melting pot of friendships. It is highly possible to end up in a group chat where no one shares a major. That just makes college friendships more interesting; everyone can contribute something unique. Sure, we might not always see eye to eye, but we're not so different, you and I.

It is easy for college to feel like a waste of time and money, especially when you don't particularly care for the courses at hand. No one wants to spend thousands of dollars to sit in a boring or irrelevant class. Maybe college isn't the right choice right now. Gap years are always an option. Maybe you just haven't studied the right course. That gen-ed class you have to suffer through might be the spark to help find a new passion and change your course of study. 

You've finally done it! After several long years, you made it through college. Now that it is all over, you can start paying off those official tuition loans. That could be hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans, but you no longer have to send money to your school. That doesn't mean you won't receive a million letters begging you to send money back to college. If you really want to be a good alumnus, there are plenty of ways to give back, such as volunteering or helping out recently graduated students once you have a steady career.

Lead Image Credit: Netflix